Friday, February 14, 2014 is Valentine’s Day. A holiday that originated in Italy, it’s all about love, and it has chocolate and champagne as staple foods, making it very seductive. And dangerous, because it’s easy to get carried away. That is where your attorney can help. Several Valentine contracts have been floating around the Internet. We would like to share our adaptation of one that another attorney disseminated to his “romantically proficient” clients. It’s a non-binding contractual agreement for affection, hereinafter the “Valentine Agreement.”
My dearest darling [valentine’s name here],
WHEREAS, I am madly in love with [valentine’s name here], it is herein proposed that [valentine’s name here] and I agree to be bound to the present Valentine Agreement subject to the following terms and conditions hereto:
1. BILATERAL. [Valentine’s name here] and I agree to bestow upon each other the title of “My Valentine.”
2. EXCLUSIVITY. For the duration of this agreement, [valentine’s name here] and I will not enter into a Valentine Agreement with other parties.
3. DEMONSTRABILITY. Both parties agree to perform at least one (1) but not more than three (3) displays of public affection including, but not limited to, a kiss.
4. FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS. Financial obligations covered under this Agreement extend to dinner, drinks, and a dessert containing chocolate and something red. Yes, [valentine’s name here], you get to choose the restaurant.
5. ENTIRE AGREEMENT. The above covenants represent the entirety of the Valentine Agreement. Parties are not bound to any oral or written representations outside of this Agreement, including but not limited to (a) “Going steady”; (b) Holding hands; or (c) Meeting the parents of either party.
6. DURATION AND SEVERABILITY. This Agreement is effective as of 12:00 p.m. on February 14, 2014, and becomes null and void at 12:00 a.m. on February 15, 2014 (the Cinderella clause). We understand that both parties might be tempted to enter into an impromptu extension. This must be in writing. As movie producer Samuel Goldwyn said, “A verbal agreement isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.”